I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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