Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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