Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
