hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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