he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
