He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
