She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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