I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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