Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize