tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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