We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
