They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
