Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
