Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
