so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
