He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
