How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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