It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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