the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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