one word: firstdatebathroomanal
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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