ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
