you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
