I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
