Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
