At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
