wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
