I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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