why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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