can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
