i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Welp...herpes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
