I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
