I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
