I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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