Screwed.edu
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
