I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
