My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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