i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
