Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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