What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
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Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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