Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize