Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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