im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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