haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
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I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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