the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize