Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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