Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
