Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm both gender and math confused
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
