i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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