Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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