He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
