Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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