I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize