just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
