no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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