If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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