let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
