We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
