i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
