I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
