I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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