Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it because I queefed?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
