Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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