Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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