I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
