just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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