The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
