let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
