Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I haven't been this sober since birth.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
