I want to have your abortion
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
